文都网校 > 关于文都网校

SAT写作

更多

2016年SAT写作范文:成功

小编今天为广大考生带来了一篇SAT写作范文供考生参考,希望对大家SAT写作的提高有所帮助。 

  题目:

  Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below

  Prompt: The old saying, “be careful what you wish for”, may be an appropriate warning. The drive to achieve a particular goal can dangerously narrow one’s perspective and encourage the fantasy that success in one endeavor will solve all of life’s difficulties. In fact, success can sometimes have unexpected consequences. Those who propel themselves toward the achievement of one goal often find that their lives are worse once “success” is achieved than they were before.

  Assignment: Can success be disastrous?

  Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

  参考范文:

  The power of success can be disastrous when placed in the wrong hands. Naturally, there are those who will always choose to manipulate conditions to succeed in their own endeavors, not taking into consideration the lives of those around them. On the other hand, there may be those who do not necessarily pursue selfish ends, but simply do not know where to take success once it has been achieved, thus resulting in their own self-sabotage.

  Throughout history, we have seen success used wrongfully in the hands of the unworthy. Powerful leaders of nations, kingdoms, and empires, having succeeded in gaining leadership, have then used their influence wrongfully in achieving their own selfish (and sometimes twisted) goals. Nero, the Roman emperor who beat his pregnant wife to death and has been suspected of instigating the great fire of Rome in an attempt to boost his own political influence; Henry VIII of England, for whom women were beheaded for not bearing him a son, and who is rumored to have eaten eight chickens a night while English peasants starved; The notorious Ferdinand and Isabella of Spain, who carried out the Spanish Inquisition… The list is endless. Even in literature, we see the corruption and downfall of society and mankind as a whole as a result of the abuse of success in the possession of those who do not deserve it, as seen in William Shakespeare’s tragedy of King Lear. In the story, societal order is replaced with chaos when there is a power shift from Lear to his evil daughters, Regan and Goneril. This order only returns to a slight degree when virtue (in the form of Lear’s good daughter, Cordelia) returns to England. Success is hazardous when awarded to the unvirtuous.

  However, there may be those who are not necessarily evil of greedy in their pursuits, but merely do not know how to handle success. This proves to be just more disastrous to the individual than to anyone else, since it is the individual who will then sabotage his own success to return to his former comfort zone. Success is meant to be grown upon, not exploited or feared.

  Success, when achieved by the unworthy or inexperienced, is a most disastrous element. Success is not about being happy at the expense of those about you –it is about using one’s newly gained happiness to improve the lives of others. If one reflects on the wise words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, one will never go astray: “To know that one person has breathed easier because you have lived -this is to have succeeded.”

  得分点

  1 effectively and insightfully develops a point of view on the issue and demonstrates outstanding critical thinking, using clearly appropriate examples, reasons, and other evidence to support its position

  围绕论题有效、深刻地发展一个论点,运用贴切的事例、因果分析和其他证据支持论点,从而展示出色的思辨能力。

  2 is well organized and clearly focused, demonstrating clear coherence and smooth progression of ideas

  结构合理,中心明确,思路连贯,衔接自然。全文紧扣论点,不枝不蔓,起承转合十分得体。

  3 exhibits skillful use of language, using a varied, accurate, and apt vocabulary

  显示运用语言的技巧,词汇丰富、准确、恰当

  4 demonstrates meaningful variety in sentence structure

  运用多种句子结构

  5 is free of most errors in grammar, usage, and mechanics

  在语法、用法和技巧上错误很少


为您服务

  • 网校咨询:400-011-8090
  • 售后客服:4000118090转2